Officier, Ordre des Palmes Académiques

Yesterday I got to go to the French Embassy to see my aunt Marie-Hélène Huet be honored by the French government.

It was very moving. She and my uncle Jay were there, and a lot of other people. It was actually a dual ceremony. The other recipient was Anne de Louvigny Stone, so about half the people were there to see her, and half to see my aunt. It was strange to mingle before and after the event, because I never knew if the person next to me was part of my circle or a complete stranger.

Everyone was dressed up in various stages of elegance. Some of the men wore a simple jacket and button down shirt; others, like me, wore a formal suit and tie. And some of the women wore elegant gowns, while others wore suits, and still others wore the nicest informal outfit they could put together.

As we gathered before the ceremony, the embassy staff weaved in and out of the crowd, with trays of wine and very well-put-together finger foods. There was a lot of drinking going on, and some folks were clearly well on their way. It was cute, and seemed very modern. A formal occasion that didn't take itself too seriously. Just a way for all of us to take the time to acknowledge the extraordinary people in our lives.

On my way into the embassy I'd seen Marie-Hélène and Jay at the front of the line, having their IDs checked. I was very happy to have made it. I'd been late getting ready, frantically overturning my apartment looking for some black socks, and then just by sheer chance finding an available cab at a time of day when cabs aren't usually available in my neighborhood. The driver was sympathetic to my plight, and got me to the place with a couple minutes to spare.

So I was especially happy to be arriving at the same time as the guest of honor - I hadn't missed anything, and I'd have no trouble finding them, since, there they were. I went up the very elegant staircase, and there was Jay. It was great to see him, and he greeted me really warmly. As a kid, I'd been to their wedding - the last of my mother's sisters to get married; and Jay was always this warm, wonderful guy. Sort of shy, but rising to social challenges, and always keeping a sense of irony about this kind of occasion.

But it turned out that on this day he was both happy and sad. His dog had just died a day or so before, and he was filled with grief. They've always had a dog, and I'm sure they will again. When I'd visited them, their dog had been big and playful, and a huge part of the family. We talked for a little while, but with so many friends and colleagues coming in, he had to continue greeting people.

Marie-Hélène was close by, wearing a great outfit with a red jacket, and looking perfect. She was like, "you wore a suit! I need a photo!" So Jay took a couple pictures of us - she said they needed proof to show the rest of the family. Traditionally I haven't worn suits much.

But, so, I got to congratulate her and tell her how proud I was of her, and how happy I was that she'd invited me. Aside from her husband Jay, I was the only member of our family to attend. So I felt very proud to represent all of us.

The pre-event mingling was slightly reminiscent of similar scenes on The West Wing. Strangers would meet, introduce themselves, identify their common connection or lack thereof, speak for a few minutes, and then mingle off in a different direction.

My style at this sort of event - when I'm not trying to act out - is still pretty forward. I went up to various people I had no connection to at all, and just started talking. Apparently the protocol is to first be introduced. So I made a couple of people slightly uncomfortable at first, until the conversation would get started and they'd relax a bit. It was a bit jarring for them, because they couldn't be sure if I was a complete nobody or a crown prince. They had to hedge their bets.

When it was time for the event, we all moved into another room that faced right onto the East edge of Central Park. The Sun was shining over the leaves and through the 20-foot high windows. I believe it was Kareen Rispal, the Cultural Counselor of the French Embassy, who addressed us. It was pretty amazing. She introduced my aunt first, with all sorts of anecdotes about her life, including a lot of stuff I hadn't known about her, like the fact that she'd taught at UC Berkeley once upon a time.

It's pretty amazing, the whole speechwriting profession. What kind of researchers had pulled together all this information and written it up into a really moving speech. I was sitting right in front, right next to Marie-Hélène, so I had a perfect view. Then everyone applauded for a really long time, and Marie-Hélène gave her acceptance speech, which I wish I could remember better, it was very beautiful and anecdotal. Later I asked her to send me a copy. Then after she spoke, everyone applauded again, and Kareen Rispal pinned the medal on her.

There followed another introduction for Anne de Louvigny Stone - a completely different story this time. While my aunt has been a professor and intellectual all her life, Anne de Louvigny Stone has been in business and finance, and a big success at Merrill Lynch now. Her award was the Chevalier, Ordre national du Merite. Another round of applause, and another acceptance speech and medal. Her speech was less poetic than my aunt's, but still heart-felt. Her husband and two kids were also in the front row across the central aisle, all dressed up and looking incredibly proud and moved. Her daughter was filming the whole event on her phone.

Afterwards there was more mingling. I got to talk with both Jay and Marie-Hélène again, and a few other people, including one of the friends of the other honoree who had himself been honored there years before. All the former honorees wore either the medal itself, or a small pin, or thread, in their lapel.

As I left, I was filled with a sense of pride in my aunt, and with sympathy for their dog dying, and also with a sense of accomplishment for myself. I hadn't spoiled the ceremony! I hadn't drawn a lot of attention to myself with crazy antics. I hadn't been late. I'd managed to dress appropriately.

I hopped in a cab down to Washington Square Park and walked home, enjoying wearing my formal attire in public. It was windy, so sometimes my legs would flap, and my tie would fly over my shoulder. No one took note of me or made comments. Part of me expected everyone I saw to know that I never usually dressed that way, but no one pointed it out to me. I stopped by Sacred Chow for some take-out, went home, and watched some TV while I ate.