Got another short story here. If you like it, share it around. Here it is:
http://sites.google.com/site/whereiwrite/2010/a-simple-truth
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
I Has Foodz Issues: Part V
I've been having some dizzy spells and sleepiness issues. The dizzy spells are not so extreme that I actually fall over, but a day or so ago it was hard to read because the words seemed to float out of my field of vision.
The sleepiness issue is not so terrible either; but definitely present. I've been getting tired very early, and sleeping for 8 hours, as opposed to my usual five and a half. Also, after eating I tend to get very sleepy; which hadn't been happening so much before my diet.
I figure it could either be an injury from the sudden diet change, a caloric deficiency, some other nutritional deficiency, or lupus. It always has to at least possibly be lupus.
I suspect the sleep stuff is probably a result of injuring myself from the sudden diet change; and I just have to hope that I recover. I don't want to compromise the diet for that though, because it's such a razor's edge that I don't want to risk falling back into my old way of eating.
The dizziness, I'm guessing is a vitamin deficiency. I recently made a couple of changes to the diet, that might have resulted in that.
First, I cut down my caloric intake. I had been having a salad for lunch, and then two entrées from the local macrobiotic place. One of those entrées was a fish tempura, and someone pointed out that 'tempura' meant deep-fried in oil. So I cut that out and started having a small appetizer with a single entrée instead.
And secondly, I've been loosening up about exactly what kind of salad I'll eat. I had been going across the street from work to a salad place, and having a very complex, nutrient-rich salad that covered pretty much everything. Now, I'm essentially practicing my "find the best foods where I am" approach, by going to the café at work, and getting the healthiest vegetables I can find. The problem is that even though it's a big pile of nice raw veggies, it's not as diverse as my salads, and probably not as nutritionally balanced. So it's now much more likely that I could develop some kind of nutritional deficiency.
Certain cravings have also come back, which I've also started equating with nutritional deficiencies. And the psychological inner warfare is also in effect. Lauren and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and I found myself trying to make excuses for everything. Breakfast cereals, snacks of various kinds, you name it.
It can get pretty scary, because I realize that I might suddenly find myself biting into a huge burger, or snacking on cookies or something. And if that ever happened, I might just take the opportunity to keep going with it. I'm a junkie. That's not a metaphor. I'm a junkie and I'm trying to get clean, but if my brain tricks me into backsliding, I don't really know what'll happen.
Anyway yeah. Various symptoms, no solutions, just keeping on keeping on, and hoping it evens out.
The sleepiness issue is not so terrible either; but definitely present. I've been getting tired very early, and sleeping for 8 hours, as opposed to my usual five and a half. Also, after eating I tend to get very sleepy; which hadn't been happening so much before my diet.
I figure it could either be an injury from the sudden diet change, a caloric deficiency, some other nutritional deficiency, or lupus. It always has to at least possibly be lupus.
I suspect the sleep stuff is probably a result of injuring myself from the sudden diet change; and I just have to hope that I recover. I don't want to compromise the diet for that though, because it's such a razor's edge that I don't want to risk falling back into my old way of eating.
The dizziness, I'm guessing is a vitamin deficiency. I recently made a couple of changes to the diet, that might have resulted in that.
First, I cut down my caloric intake. I had been having a salad for lunch, and then two entrées from the local macrobiotic place. One of those entrées was a fish tempura, and someone pointed out that 'tempura' meant deep-fried in oil. So I cut that out and started having a small appetizer with a single entrée instead.
And secondly, I've been loosening up about exactly what kind of salad I'll eat. I had been going across the street from work to a salad place, and having a very complex, nutrient-rich salad that covered pretty much everything. Now, I'm essentially practicing my "find the best foods where I am" approach, by going to the café at work, and getting the healthiest vegetables I can find. The problem is that even though it's a big pile of nice raw veggies, it's not as diverse as my salads, and probably not as nutritionally balanced. So it's now much more likely that I could develop some kind of nutritional deficiency.
Certain cravings have also come back, which I've also started equating with nutritional deficiencies. And the psychological inner warfare is also in effect. Lauren and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and I found myself trying to make excuses for everything. Breakfast cereals, snacks of various kinds, you name it.
It can get pretty scary, because I realize that I might suddenly find myself biting into a huge burger, or snacking on cookies or something. And if that ever happened, I might just take the opportunity to keep going with it. I'm a junkie. That's not a metaphor. I'm a junkie and I'm trying to get clean, but if my brain tricks me into backsliding, I don't really know what'll happen.
Anyway yeah. Various symptoms, no solutions, just keeping on keeping on, and hoping it evens out.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Samsung Killed My Netflix
Awhile ago, I talked a bit about Netflix streaming, and how it was just eh, but still something I'd keep around because it did prevent me from buying so many DVDs.
Since then, my Netflix experience has definitely flopped right on its back, with its legs in the air. It's dead, Jim.
The way the stream works is, when you start watching something, there's a little delay, with a red status bar that fills up over the course of a few seconds, and then the video comes on. Thereafter, the stream continues to fill up in the background, so you never run out of video to watch. Every once in awhile you might see that status bar again, but for the most part, you just get a continuous stream, with no problem.
About a month ago, my Netflix stream started dropping into that status bar every 20 seconds or so. I'd get 20 seconds of video, then 20 seconds of downloading; then 20 seconds of video, then 20 more seconds of downloading. Everything was completely unwatchable.
At first I thought it might be a problem with my wireless, or with my Internet connection in general; but no. Everything checks out. I also thought it might be some metal cans sitting next to the wifi modem; and I moved them out of the way. I also thought it might be the position of the modem relative to my player. But no. It was none of those things.
My current theory is that the software on my player is to blame. That software gets updated periodically, and lately it's been very obvious that the software is simply broken. For example, I'll get a "Network unavailable" error coming from the player itself. I can navigate away from the Netflix app and back to it all I want, with no change. But when I reboot the player, the error goes away. Clearly it's not a problem with my network, but with the device's ability to perceive my network.
Things like that. The player also has a tendency to lock up sometimes, and button pushes stop working on the remote, except for the power button. So I reboot the player, and then it works again for a little while.
And by "works", I mean it interrupts my video every 20 seconds with that same red status bar.
The player is the Samsung BD-C6900 1080p 3D Blu-ray Disc Player. I paid $350 for it, and I haven't been ripped off by any company that bad for years. I'd be very reluctant to buy anything at all from Samsung from now on.
Since then, my Netflix experience has definitely flopped right on its back, with its legs in the air. It's dead, Jim.
The way the stream works is, when you start watching something, there's a little delay, with a red status bar that fills up over the course of a few seconds, and then the video comes on. Thereafter, the stream continues to fill up in the background, so you never run out of video to watch. Every once in awhile you might see that status bar again, but for the most part, you just get a continuous stream, with no problem.
About a month ago, my Netflix stream started dropping into that status bar every 20 seconds or so. I'd get 20 seconds of video, then 20 seconds of downloading; then 20 seconds of video, then 20 more seconds of downloading. Everything was completely unwatchable.
At first I thought it might be a problem with my wireless, or with my Internet connection in general; but no. Everything checks out. I also thought it might be some metal cans sitting next to the wifi modem; and I moved them out of the way. I also thought it might be the position of the modem relative to my player. But no. It was none of those things.
My current theory is that the software on my player is to blame. That software gets updated periodically, and lately it's been very obvious that the software is simply broken. For example, I'll get a "Network unavailable" error coming from the player itself. I can navigate away from the Netflix app and back to it all I want, with no change. But when I reboot the player, the error goes away. Clearly it's not a problem with my network, but with the device's ability to perceive my network.
Things like that. The player also has a tendency to lock up sometimes, and button pushes stop working on the remote, except for the power button. So I reboot the player, and then it works again for a little while.
And by "works", I mean it interrupts my video every 20 seconds with that same red status bar.
The player is the Samsung BD-C6900 1080p 3D Blu-ray Disc Player. I paid $350 for it, and I haven't been ripped off by any company that bad for years. I'd be very reluctant to buy anything at all from Samsung from now on.
I Has Foodz Issues: Part IV
One interesting thing that I've noticed lately, is that my mind will start thinking in terms of excuses. I'll go into the café at work, and look around at the selection, and all of it will seem pretty well within the bounds of my diet. "Hm," I'll think to myself, "I could have that, or that, or that, or maybe all of it!"
That happened to me today at lunch. My sense of what is and is not a part of my diet is becoming blurred. But, maybe because I keep a spreadsheet with a grade and explanation for each day's eating, I was able to snap back to reality. It's possible that this habit I'm developing, of considering how my eating will affect the day's grade, is becoming sort of a trigger, to wake me up from dangerous food happyland.
So I ended up getting a plate full of some sautéed vegetables, and a couple of different kinds of raw vegetables - all safe, perfect foods.
This is a deviation from my usual habit, which is to go across the street to the salad place, order the same salad as I did the day before, and then eat it in the comfort and safety of one of the kitchens over here.
So I was thinking, "what's really happening here? Is something up? Am I leaving the true path?"
My assessment is this: one of the cornerstones of my diet is the flexibility to do without a meal if appropriate food doesn't present itself; as well as the flexibility to tolerate the healthy foods that are available, even if they're not entirely to my taste.
So, for me, lunch today ended up being a very healthy, yet probably not nutritionally complete, response to what was immediately available. And now I'm committed to that having been my lunch, and to no other food going in my mouth until dinner (except perhaps a tin of sardines, which have also been part of my regular habit).
So, I think I handled the situation the right way, but it's confusing. During lunch, I had the strong sense that somehow I was falling off the wagon. Somehow by deviating from my normal routine, I was in the process of failing. But when I think about what I ate, it just can't be the case. The food today was every bit as nutritionally dense as my normal salad; it just probably wasn't as nutritionally balanced as that salad is.
So my suspicion is that this sense of being in the process of failing, is something the addicted part of my brain is throwing out as an attack, just like when I was quitting cigarettes. It's trying to break my will by convincing me that my will is already broken. No need to stay on the diet, I've already failed, I might as well just eat whatever; and anyway all this food over here is probably perfectly fine for my diet.
It's very contradictory - part of me is saying the unhealthy food in the café is perfectly fine for my diet, and part of me is saying that even by choosing the foods that actually were fine for my diet, it still constituted failure.
So yeah. If I'm right, this is a little inkling of the psychological warfare to come. I need to maintain my hard-line approach regarding what is and is not OK for my diet; once I start to compromise on it, I'll be giving my secret anti-brain exactly what it wants - a way to confuse and disorient me, to trick me into a situation where it can tell me that each successive failure is justified by the previous ones. Or who knows what other nastiness it's got brewing.
That happened to me today at lunch. My sense of what is and is not a part of my diet is becoming blurred. But, maybe because I keep a spreadsheet with a grade and explanation for each day's eating, I was able to snap back to reality. It's possible that this habit I'm developing, of considering how my eating will affect the day's grade, is becoming sort of a trigger, to wake me up from dangerous food happyland.
So I ended up getting a plate full of some sautéed vegetables, and a couple of different kinds of raw vegetables - all safe, perfect foods.
This is a deviation from my usual habit, which is to go across the street to the salad place, order the same salad as I did the day before, and then eat it in the comfort and safety of one of the kitchens over here.
So I was thinking, "what's really happening here? Is something up? Am I leaving the true path?"
My assessment is this: one of the cornerstones of my diet is the flexibility to do without a meal if appropriate food doesn't present itself; as well as the flexibility to tolerate the healthy foods that are available, even if they're not entirely to my taste.
So, for me, lunch today ended up being a very healthy, yet probably not nutritionally complete, response to what was immediately available. And now I'm committed to that having been my lunch, and to no other food going in my mouth until dinner (except perhaps a tin of sardines, which have also been part of my regular habit).
So, I think I handled the situation the right way, but it's confusing. During lunch, I had the strong sense that somehow I was falling off the wagon. Somehow by deviating from my normal routine, I was in the process of failing. But when I think about what I ate, it just can't be the case. The food today was every bit as nutritionally dense as my normal salad; it just probably wasn't as nutritionally balanced as that salad is.
So my suspicion is that this sense of being in the process of failing, is something the addicted part of my brain is throwing out as an attack, just like when I was quitting cigarettes. It's trying to break my will by convincing me that my will is already broken. No need to stay on the diet, I've already failed, I might as well just eat whatever; and anyway all this food over here is probably perfectly fine for my diet.
It's very contradictory - part of me is saying the unhealthy food in the café is perfectly fine for my diet, and part of me is saying that even by choosing the foods that actually were fine for my diet, it still constituted failure.
So yeah. If I'm right, this is a little inkling of the psychological warfare to come. I need to maintain my hard-line approach regarding what is and is not OK for my diet; once I start to compromise on it, I'll be giving my secret anti-brain exactly what it wants - a way to confuse and disorient me, to trick me into a situation where it can tell me that each successive failure is justified by the previous ones. Or who knows what other nastiness it's got brewing.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Books, And Cases, And Tables, And...My Toe?
These are my bookcases with things on them:
Notice there is a floor. Notice also there is a couch.
These are my toes:
See if you can guess which foot had a very large piece of lumber fall on it three days ago.
Notice also a conspicuous lack of swelling. I'm not sure exactly what the deal is, but I did take 4 ibuprofen pills as soon as it happened, following up with 2 more periodically. The idea was less to kill the pain as much as it was to prevent swelling. As far as I understand it, swelling can do more tissue damage than the injury itself. But ibuprofen can only do so much. I did expect more swelling than this.
When it happened, my first thought was, do I need to go to the hospital? If it was broken, that would be a yes. So I took off my shoe and wiggled the toe around a little, enough to be fairly convinced that there was no break. I was pretty sure there were going to be some stretched ligaments in there somewhere though.
But over the course of the next couple of days, I gradually realized that there probably wasn't any ligament damage either. It was just healing way too quickly for that. Soon wiggling the toe was not too uncomfortable, though even now I can't put any weight on the pad of the toe itself, without sharp pain that seems to threaten further injury.
My guess is there may be some cartilage damage, which would suck, because that leg has already had other injuries that make it weaker than the left. But I figure, that's how it goes.
By the way, aren't my two big toes awesome? I love their shape.
Anyway, new shelves! New table! Yay!
Notice there is a floor. Notice also there is a couch.
These are my toes:
See if you can guess which foot had a very large piece of lumber fall on it three days ago.
Notice also a conspicuous lack of swelling. I'm not sure exactly what the deal is, but I did take 4 ibuprofen pills as soon as it happened, following up with 2 more periodically. The idea was less to kill the pain as much as it was to prevent swelling. As far as I understand it, swelling can do more tissue damage than the injury itself. But ibuprofen can only do so much. I did expect more swelling than this.
When it happened, my first thought was, do I need to go to the hospital? If it was broken, that would be a yes. So I took off my shoe and wiggled the toe around a little, enough to be fairly convinced that there was no break. I was pretty sure there were going to be some stretched ligaments in there somewhere though.
But over the course of the next couple of days, I gradually realized that there probably wasn't any ligament damage either. It was just healing way too quickly for that. Soon wiggling the toe was not too uncomfortable, though even now I can't put any weight on the pad of the toe itself, without sharp pain that seems to threaten further injury.
My guess is there may be some cartilage damage, which would suck, because that leg has already had other injuries that make it weaker than the left. But I figure, that's how it goes.
By the way, aren't my two big toes awesome? I love their shape.
Anyway, new shelves! New table! Yay!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
All...Done?
Whew! Well, it took us all weekend. We just finished a few minutes ago, and I have to admit, Will did more of the work than I did. Maybe if I hadn't banged my toe it would've been different. There's something about having a banged up toe, I find, that makes you want to take the shortest route to all other destinations. I had no interest in checking any calculations, verifying any measurements, or correcting any misalignments of wood. But as it turned out, everything worked, and there was nothing to correct.
The worst problem with building these three bookcases was that the screws were a little too thick, and so they were constantly threatening to split the wood, or poke out one side or the other as we screwed them in. But they were remarkably well behaved. I've had some bookcase-building experiences where the wood was entirely warped, and it took a huge effort to make everything come out OK. These bookcases seemed to actively desire to be built. They gave us no trouble at all.
There they are. Too late I noticed we'd used one-by-tens for the planks, instead of one-by-twelves, so they're not as deep as the other bookcases in the apartment. But eh. They will totally do.
It's too late in the day, and I'm too tired and achy, to put anything actually on the shelves. That will be tomorrow evening's activity. If I'm very very lucky, I will, like the Cat In The Hat, pick up all the things that are down. I can't imagine that there is more stuff on the floor than will fit in those shelves. And I do still have a lot of free closet space. So one way or another, my apartment will no longer be saturated with junk. The junk will be neatly on shelves, thank you very much.
So, yay! Hooray for building things that are functional! Hooray for tables and bookcases and things to put on them and do on them. And hooray for Will, who was great the whole time.
The worst problem with building these three bookcases was that the screws were a little too thick, and so they were constantly threatening to split the wood, or poke out one side or the other as we screwed them in. But they were remarkably well behaved. I've had some bookcase-building experiences where the wood was entirely warped, and it took a huge effort to make everything come out OK. These bookcases seemed to actively desire to be built. They gave us no trouble at all.
There they are. Too late I noticed we'd used one-by-tens for the planks, instead of one-by-twelves, so they're not as deep as the other bookcases in the apartment. But eh. They will totally do.
It's too late in the day, and I'm too tired and achy, to put anything actually on the shelves. That will be tomorrow evening's activity. If I'm very very lucky, I will, like the Cat In The Hat, pick up all the things that are down. I can't imagine that there is more stuff on the floor than will fit in those shelves. And I do still have a lot of free closet space. So one way or another, my apartment will no longer be saturated with junk. The junk will be neatly on shelves, thank you very much.
So, yay! Hooray for building things that are functional! Hooray for tables and bookcases and things to put on them and do on them. And hooray for Will, who was great the whole time.
And In This Corner.......
So I showed that picture to Lauren, and she was like, "oooh, it's such a beautiful table, Zack! What does the rest of the room look like?" She knew. She knew what I'd done to get that table in there. And we both laughed just thinking about it.
There you go. There's more, off to the left. It's not the best angle to show the true scope of devastation; but I wanted to include a bit of the new work table, for perspective.
Once we get the new bookcases up, all that junk is going right on the shelves. Theoretically, that's today. Cue theramin.
There you go. There's more, off to the left. It's not the best angle to show the true scope of devastation; but I wanted to include a bit of the new work table, for perspective.
Once we get the new bookcases up, all that junk is going right on the shelves. Theoretically, that's today. Cue theramin.
Books, And Cases, And Tables, Oh My!
I make a pretty good bookcase. With only one exception, everywhere I've lived since I've been on my own, I've made my own bookcases (one of my SF places had Ikea). The basic idea is, store-bought stuff just isn't going to use the space in the best possible way. When I moved into my place here, I built 4 floor-to-ceiling shelves that fit exactly where I put them, and 3 smaller shelves that ran the full length of a wall, leaving the wall area above it free for video projection.
That was several years ago. Then recently I got the idea to put 3 more floor-to-ceiling shelves in, against a wall that I'd previously been keeping free for art. I'd originally wanted to cover that entire wall with art done by friends, but I only ended up putting a few pieces up there, and it didn't have the feel I'd been going for.
I'd also run into a big problem of where to put all my stuff. I'd moved from a three bedroom apartment in San Francisco to a one bedroom apartment here, and I still had a lot of stuff in boxes, and a lot more stuff that was not in boxes, but instead on my floor, gathering dust and making a mess. It was possible to put all that stuff away, but only if I essentially stored it all in the small closet cubbies that would make everything much less accessible.
A week or so ago I started questioning my use of that art wall. Why not put bookcases against it? Well, the couch would have to move, and the 700 lb compressed-air-powered die press would also have to move. Where would those things go? I didn't know. But the more I thought about it, the less of an obstacle all that stuff seemed. I'm not sure how exactly the decision was made - at a certain point it seemed like the scales just tipped, and I was ready to do it.
A few days ago it also occurred to me that while I was building things, I could add a work table into the mix. This was kind of a revolution in my thinking - it had never seemed to me that any kind of table would even fit in my living room before. Certainly any table in the middle of the room would prevent anything else from happening in that room except some kind of interaction with the table. But my dream had been for the living room to actually be a hangout spot with open air between the sitting places, rather than a table-sitting spot or a repository for vast clutter.
So the idea for the table was really unexpected. But there was a long wall in my living room; with two windows looking out of it, and three bookcases in the spaces between the windows, that might actually work. And if it worked, I'd have a huge table area that wouldn't really take away any space from the rest of the room. Not only that, but the table could double as a bench. The way I envisioned it, it would be incredibly strong, and the nooks between the bookcases and windows would be great for cushioned seating.
Once I got the idea, it was hard to believe I hadn't thought of it before. It was perfect! A lot of my projects required space to spread out, and those projects had been languishing lately, partly because of that problem. It had been really frustrating for me, but I hadn't realized how significant the table issue was until just then. But now I'd be able to do my labanotation research, which really required a lot of space to lay out index cards and many books open to many pages; and I could do sculpture, clothes making, and other art activities, that I realized I'd also been somewhat pining for. If the table was the right height, it would also be a good ergonomic area for computer stuff. All kinds of things were occurring to me that had been mouldering away in my mind, because until then I'd just given up on any idea of having a table in my apartment.
Then this weekend I found myself with no other plans, so I asked my apartment-mate Will (he actually lives in a different apartment, but it's part of the same larger area and we use the same keys) if he was interested in helping, and he said sure! So we spent some time figuring out all the measurements, going over them again and again to make design decisions, and figure out the best way to do everything; and then yesterday we went and got a big pile of wood from the lumber yard.
In San Francisco years ago, when I'd told my friends I was going to build shelves, they were mildly amused. "Aren't you kind of a nerdy computer guy?" Then when I went and purchased all the wood I would need for 9 full bookcases, they became alarmed. "Just build one shelf, see if you can do it OK, and then maybe get materials for the next one!" But no - I got all the wood for all the pieces I intended to build, and then I got busy and built all 9 bookcases in just a few days. I knew what I was doing - my mother had built everything in our apartment when I was growing up, and that included lots and lots of bookcases for my dad's 20,000 books.
So, same thing Saturday. Will and I went to the lumber yard and purchased all the wood for the bookcases and the table, and got it back to the apartment, and got to work. He wanted to start with the bookcases, but I was in a fever to do the table, partly because I'd never done one before, and partly because it was going to be so cool. According to my calculations, it had to be precisely the right size or it just wouldn't fit at all. The bookcases had no such stringent requirements.
There it is! In this picture it's still only resting on about half of the posts; but the far side is fully attached, and very strong. Originally we were going to finish all the building that same day, and then I'd spend Sunday cleaning up and putting everything on the new shelves; but I dropped the 15 foot table top on my toe, and it is 1" birch plywood, strong and heavy, so... ow. But the toe survived. And by then we only really needed to screw the table top into the posts, so Will did most of that while I read Little Orphan Annie (did you know "Daddy" went blind during The Depression?) and helped a little.
There was one very iffy moment near the beginning, when we had to lift the entire table-top and slide it into the slots created by those bookcases, and set it down on the freestanding posts. We really weren't sure, even up till the last minute, whether it would truly fit or not. But it did, and after that, I had the pleasure of walking around and admiring the actualization of a lovely idea that hadn't been part of my worldview just a few days before.
Today we'll finish up the table top and build the three bookcases (they are much easier, with just thin pine and no space issues.
But isn't that table great? Four or five people could do art along it, or sit against the edges of the bookcase and look out the window, or jump up and down on it, or whatever! Soon it'll also have a few coats of polyurethane for splinter protection. Also, those shelves in the bookcases that don't quite line up with the table top, I'm going to remove and set lower down so they're like an extension of the table itself.
And the best part is, the table doesn't really encroach on the rest of the living room. No one would walk through that thin strip of floor; but now they can sit on it and converse and hang out. And for getting stuff off the top shelves of the bookcases (which are several shelves above the top of this photo), anyone can feel confident in standing right on top of the table without it falling or really moving at all. This is a strong, functional, kick-ass table of awesome.
That was several years ago. Then recently I got the idea to put 3 more floor-to-ceiling shelves in, against a wall that I'd previously been keeping free for art. I'd originally wanted to cover that entire wall with art done by friends, but I only ended up putting a few pieces up there, and it didn't have the feel I'd been going for.
I'd also run into a big problem of where to put all my stuff. I'd moved from a three bedroom apartment in San Francisco to a one bedroom apartment here, and I still had a lot of stuff in boxes, and a lot more stuff that was not in boxes, but instead on my floor, gathering dust and making a mess. It was possible to put all that stuff away, but only if I essentially stored it all in the small closet cubbies that would make everything much less accessible.
A week or so ago I started questioning my use of that art wall. Why not put bookcases against it? Well, the couch would have to move, and the 700 lb compressed-air-powered die press would also have to move. Where would those things go? I didn't know. But the more I thought about it, the less of an obstacle all that stuff seemed. I'm not sure how exactly the decision was made - at a certain point it seemed like the scales just tipped, and I was ready to do it.
A few days ago it also occurred to me that while I was building things, I could add a work table into the mix. This was kind of a revolution in my thinking - it had never seemed to me that any kind of table would even fit in my living room before. Certainly any table in the middle of the room would prevent anything else from happening in that room except some kind of interaction with the table. But my dream had been for the living room to actually be a hangout spot with open air between the sitting places, rather than a table-sitting spot or a repository for vast clutter.
So the idea for the table was really unexpected. But there was a long wall in my living room; with two windows looking out of it, and three bookcases in the spaces between the windows, that might actually work. And if it worked, I'd have a huge table area that wouldn't really take away any space from the rest of the room. Not only that, but the table could double as a bench. The way I envisioned it, it would be incredibly strong, and the nooks between the bookcases and windows would be great for cushioned seating.
Once I got the idea, it was hard to believe I hadn't thought of it before. It was perfect! A lot of my projects required space to spread out, and those projects had been languishing lately, partly because of that problem. It had been really frustrating for me, but I hadn't realized how significant the table issue was until just then. But now I'd be able to do my labanotation research, which really required a lot of space to lay out index cards and many books open to many pages; and I could do sculpture, clothes making, and other art activities, that I realized I'd also been somewhat pining for. If the table was the right height, it would also be a good ergonomic area for computer stuff. All kinds of things were occurring to me that had been mouldering away in my mind, because until then I'd just given up on any idea of having a table in my apartment.
Then this weekend I found myself with no other plans, so I asked my apartment-mate Will (he actually lives in a different apartment, but it's part of the same larger area and we use the same keys) if he was interested in helping, and he said sure! So we spent some time figuring out all the measurements, going over them again and again to make design decisions, and figure out the best way to do everything; and then yesterday we went and got a big pile of wood from the lumber yard.
In San Francisco years ago, when I'd told my friends I was going to build shelves, they were mildly amused. "Aren't you kind of a nerdy computer guy?" Then when I went and purchased all the wood I would need for 9 full bookcases, they became alarmed. "Just build one shelf, see if you can do it OK, and then maybe get materials for the next one!" But no - I got all the wood for all the pieces I intended to build, and then I got busy and built all 9 bookcases in just a few days. I knew what I was doing - my mother had built everything in our apartment when I was growing up, and that included lots and lots of bookcases for my dad's 20,000 books.
So, same thing Saturday. Will and I went to the lumber yard and purchased all the wood for the bookcases and the table, and got it back to the apartment, and got to work. He wanted to start with the bookcases, but I was in a fever to do the table, partly because I'd never done one before, and partly because it was going to be so cool. According to my calculations, it had to be precisely the right size or it just wouldn't fit at all. The bookcases had no such stringent requirements.
There it is! In this picture it's still only resting on about half of the posts; but the far side is fully attached, and very strong. Originally we were going to finish all the building that same day, and then I'd spend Sunday cleaning up and putting everything on the new shelves; but I dropped the 15 foot table top on my toe, and it is 1" birch plywood, strong and heavy, so... ow. But the toe survived. And by then we only really needed to screw the table top into the posts, so Will did most of that while I read Little Orphan Annie (did you know "Daddy" went blind during The Depression?) and helped a little.
There was one very iffy moment near the beginning, when we had to lift the entire table-top and slide it into the slots created by those bookcases, and set it down on the freestanding posts. We really weren't sure, even up till the last minute, whether it would truly fit or not. But it did, and after that, I had the pleasure of walking around and admiring the actualization of a lovely idea that hadn't been part of my worldview just a few days before.
Today we'll finish up the table top and build the three bookcases (they are much easier, with just thin pine and no space issues.
But isn't that table great? Four or five people could do art along it, or sit against the edges of the bookcase and look out the window, or jump up and down on it, or whatever! Soon it'll also have a few coats of polyurethane for splinter protection. Also, those shelves in the bookcases that don't quite line up with the table top, I'm going to remove and set lower down so they're like an extension of the table itself.
And the best part is, the table doesn't really encroach on the rest of the living room. No one would walk through that thin strip of floor; but now they can sit on it and converse and hang out. And for getting stuff off the top shelves of the bookcases (which are several shelves above the top of this photo), anyone can feel confident in standing right on top of the table without it falling or really moving at all. This is a strong, functional, kick-ass table of awesome.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Reading, Walking, And A Car
I read while walking. It's a skill. The trick is to understand the meaning of different kinds of movements at your periphery. It's all about trajectories. And if something is obviously moving but not changing position relative to your ebook reader, that means it's coming right for you and you should look up, ready to take evasive action.
I cross the street while reading too. But I'm not insane - I do take a moment to glance both ways, and I make a point of keeping any possible oncoming traffic available in my periphery. But I'm so talented, that my total awareness of my surroundings isn't always obvious to the people around me, which can cause some consternation.
Yesterday on my way home, I was deeply engrossed in my calculus book. Derivatives are so amazing, it's a shame the financial mess is turning them into a dirty word. I love how you take this weird thing and stick it into an equation - and then when you reduce and solve the equation, the weird thing disappears of its own accord, leaving you with a whole new view into the thing you were just looking at. I'm telling you - derivatives are like eye of newt!
Anyway, right at that moment, as I was about to get to the other side of the street and find out how derivatives relate to limits, this car swerved out of the path of traffic, heading right at me! I jumped out of the way, but in any case he hit the breaks before hitting me. Something about the way he just happened to be aiming straight at me told me that this was yet another person trying to give me a life lesson.
So I turned around and just stared at the guy for probably a full minute, and he stared back. Clearly, this was a guy that had road rage among his top 3 emotions. Then he rolled down his window, and drove past, saying, "Look where you're going instead of reading your book!" or something like that. And I cursed him out through the same window.
The last time something similar happened, I was fully on the sidewalk, in the middle of reading Proust. Would he and Albertine see each other again? Would he become lovers with Monsieur Charlus? When all of a sudden, some guy walking in the opposite direction stuck his hand between the ebook reader and my face, and wiggled his fingers around before passing by.
I chased after him and tried to grab his hat, but he was too quick and I couldn't get it. It's a good thing, I probably would have thrown it into the street or something. But when I tried to take it, he spun around, and again I stood staring at him for solid minute or so, till finally he walked away.
For some reason I feel as though staring at the person is similar to capturing their soul. I don't dumbly stare. I devour them. I take them into myself; their cares, their fears and frustrations, and see how little they are. And then they don't bother me anymore, because I also see that in their own small way, they believe that disturbing someone who's reading a book is actually doing them a favor, teaching them to pay attention to the world around them, and not bump into other people or get hit by cars.
It's also a cultural phenomenon. In my culture, people feel like reading while walking is a negligent act, and that anyone is justified in bothering me, since it will make me a better person. The same people won't give two dimes to a guy with a cup; but for me, they'll make the extra effort. In other cultures, someone reading while walking would provoke outright rage among everyone they passed; and in yet other cultures, it would be seen as a commendable act, a sign of intelligence and sensitivity. In mine it's considered a sign of carelessness and social neglect.
Well, I'll keep reading. An hour or two of my reading is done each day on foot or on the subway. I'm going to give that up because sometimes people jump out and say boo? No thank you.
I cross the street while reading too. But I'm not insane - I do take a moment to glance both ways, and I make a point of keeping any possible oncoming traffic available in my periphery. But I'm so talented, that my total awareness of my surroundings isn't always obvious to the people around me, which can cause some consternation.
Yesterday on my way home, I was deeply engrossed in my calculus book. Derivatives are so amazing, it's a shame the financial mess is turning them into a dirty word. I love how you take this weird thing and stick it into an equation - and then when you reduce and solve the equation, the weird thing disappears of its own accord, leaving you with a whole new view into the thing you were just looking at. I'm telling you - derivatives are like eye of newt!
Anyway, right at that moment, as I was about to get to the other side of the street and find out how derivatives relate to limits, this car swerved out of the path of traffic, heading right at me! I jumped out of the way, but in any case he hit the breaks before hitting me. Something about the way he just happened to be aiming straight at me told me that this was yet another person trying to give me a life lesson.
So I turned around and just stared at the guy for probably a full minute, and he stared back. Clearly, this was a guy that had road rage among his top 3 emotions. Then he rolled down his window, and drove past, saying, "Look where you're going instead of reading your book!" or something like that. And I cursed him out through the same window.
The last time something similar happened, I was fully on the sidewalk, in the middle of reading Proust. Would he and Albertine see each other again? Would he become lovers with Monsieur Charlus? When all of a sudden, some guy walking in the opposite direction stuck his hand between the ebook reader and my face, and wiggled his fingers around before passing by.
I chased after him and tried to grab his hat, but he was too quick and I couldn't get it. It's a good thing, I probably would have thrown it into the street or something. But when I tried to take it, he spun around, and again I stood staring at him for solid minute or so, till finally he walked away.
For some reason I feel as though staring at the person is similar to capturing their soul. I don't dumbly stare. I devour them. I take them into myself; their cares, their fears and frustrations, and see how little they are. And then they don't bother me anymore, because I also see that in their own small way, they believe that disturbing someone who's reading a book is actually doing them a favor, teaching them to pay attention to the world around them, and not bump into other people or get hit by cars.
It's also a cultural phenomenon. In my culture, people feel like reading while walking is a negligent act, and that anyone is justified in bothering me, since it will make me a better person. The same people won't give two dimes to a guy with a cup; but for me, they'll make the extra effort. In other cultures, someone reading while walking would provoke outright rage among everyone they passed; and in yet other cultures, it would be seen as a commendable act, a sign of intelligence and sensitivity. In mine it's considered a sign of carelessness and social neglect.
Well, I'll keep reading. An hour or two of my reading is done each day on foot or on the subway. I'm going to give that up because sometimes people jump out and say boo? No thank you.
Monday, July 5, 2010
I Has Foodz Issues: Part III
It was pretty sudden. I'd been on my diet for about two weeks, and was experiencing all kinds of emotional ups and downs, to the point where I really could barely participate in conversation. I was sticking with the diet, but it was really, really tough. Then one day, poof! I was fine.
All of a sudden, my brain was back! I could think and feel normal emotions again! I wouldn't collapse into a heap of disfunction as a mealtime approached. In fact I could be arbitrarily late to a meal and experience no ill effects.
Feelings of hunger, that before would rage out of control, now had simmered down to something akin to a normal sensation, something I could recognize without it utterly taking over my existence.
The cravings, which had been extremely intense, had actually subsided a few days or a week earlier, after I'd adjusted my diet to give me a few vitamins I'd been lacking. So those had already been gone for a while.
So, what's my experience right now, after several days of this new non-insanity? Well, my salads and relatively small meals satisfy me; I don't go through life in agonizing hunger, but instead I have plenty of energy and I feel basically fine.
Yay! I am very joyful!
I'm staying on my guard though. I expect the cravings and possibly other symptoms to return within the next few months, and stronger than before. But for now, I'm going to enjoy the feeling of freedom.
All of a sudden, my brain was back! I could think and feel normal emotions again! I wouldn't collapse into a heap of disfunction as a mealtime approached. In fact I could be arbitrarily late to a meal and experience no ill effects.
Feelings of hunger, that before would rage out of control, now had simmered down to something akin to a normal sensation, something I could recognize without it utterly taking over my existence.
The cravings, which had been extremely intense, had actually subsided a few days or a week earlier, after I'd adjusted my diet to give me a few vitamins I'd been lacking. So those had already been gone for a while.
So, what's my experience right now, after several days of this new non-insanity? Well, my salads and relatively small meals satisfy me; I don't go through life in agonizing hunger, but instead I have plenty of energy and I feel basically fine.
Yay! I am very joyful!
I'm staying on my guard though. I expect the cravings and possibly other symptoms to return within the next few months, and stronger than before. But for now, I'm going to enjoy the feeling of freedom.
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