Overeating Hurts!

I overate last night. It was weird. I ordered two entrées, two appetizers, and a cup of soup, then also got apples and cashew nuts on the way home. All the food was very healthy, but it was plentiful.

I didn't notice any sensation of being too full until after the last apple. I drank a glass of water to make the last mouthful go down my esophagus, and as soon as I swallowed the water I realized that I was really, really, really, really full. It hurt!

The sensation gradually subsided, but I remember thinking, "wow, I'm never doing that again!"

In the old days, that quantity of food would have been just normal. And back then I often ate enough to feel uncomfortably full, but the feeling in those days was much different. For one thing, that earlier sensation was less like a serious alert and more like a time-to-lay-still-for-awhile feeling. I remember long ago, discussing it with one of my friends who also would eat too much, and he was like, "yeah! I love that feeling!"

This time I was surprised by my own reaction. It wasn't just that I had to endure this period of discomfort. It was also that I had a strong negative sense of recoiling from the prospect of doing something like that again.

I don't know if I'll actually never overeat again. It could be that the various forces at work in my brain will tilt one way and another, depending on many factors. But the thing that's interesting is that my reaction this time seemed natural to me.

It's similar to the way hunger feels natural to me lately too. Instead of perceiving hunger as this ravening, unquenchable force racking my entire body until I launch into an eating frenzy, the sensation of hunger is much more like just a gentle reminder these days.

I had a chicken panini a few days ago; essentially as part of relaxing some of my dietary restrictions, in favor of focusing on portion control and snack avoidance. The panini was mainly processed flour, with a good bit of grease and salt, and some chicken and vegetables.

After I ate it, I had that old feeling of being hungry and unsatisfied right away, just like in the old days. It sort of confirmed my idea that I should always try to have vegetables, or at least whole grains, be the main ingredient of any meal.

It's fun to discover these quote-unquote "normal" responses to things, like hunger and feeling full. And it's interesting to feel like I'm getting confirmation that I'm avoiding the correct things too.

One interesting thing is that I talked to my friend K__ recently. She's always been very fat, and I've never heard her express any dissatisfaction with her body or her appearance. She just seemed totally fine with herself, and had a great self-image.

So I was surprised this time when we talked, that she's embarking on a very extreme diet, similar to what I was doing at first - eating virtually nothing but vegetables. I'm actually visiting her soon, and I'm planning to join her on whatever dietary measures she'll pursue. I know enough not to make comments to her in our conversations. That can be so annoying! Even encouraging comments. It really is virtually identical to when I quit smoking. Some of my friends don't like that analogy, but it's really dead-on. Controlling one's eating is like kicking a nicotine habit. The only different anyone's been able to point out is that controlling eating is even harder, because you can't quit entirely.

But that's why the sugar/salt/grease avoidance seems to be key. Those seem to be the things that produce the strongest addictive reaction. When I eat just vegetables and whole grains, with maybe some fish, and I make sure all the nutritional requirements are met, my reactions don't seem to resemble addiction anymore.