Shaked? Baked.

Something went wrong with the new diet. It was really interesting. I started feeling as though something was just wrong. And I had that old sense that I used to get when I'd overeat all the time, that somehow eating would make me feel better. Even if I was already really full, I'd have this strong urge to eat as a curative measure.

So, that came back over the course of a few days, and peaked yesterday. At least I hope it was the peak. Sort of.

I think transitioning over to the grains and beans so suddenly from a primarily vegetable diet, was maybe a bit jarring to my lower brain. My suspicion is that the extra sugars are what did it.

It's kind of cool actually. Sort of hallucinatory. When I was little, growing up on a diet heavy in whole grains, I experienced mild hallucinations the whole time. Nothing major, but if I sat quietly and stared off into space, I'd perceive a kind of movement in whatever I was looking at, sort of a gentle fluctuation.

And that's started to come back over the past few days. When I was a kid, I really enjoyed the sensation, especially since I just figured it was normal, and that I should sit and watch the world move.

So, I'm not sure exactly what to do now. Part of me is like, "weeee!" And the other part is like, "my preference is to not gain back all that weight." So, my inner parent and child are arguing about whether we should leave the park to go do homework, or wait for the ice cream truck jingle to sound closer and closer.

It's a little nerve-wracking, because yesterday I kind of pigged out on apples, nuts, a couple bites of cheese, and some entrées from the macrobiotic restaurant. I gave myself a .5 for the day.

I think my plan is going to be: go back to my old way of eating, and just add my new style gradually, and try to include more veggies alongside the grains and beans.

Not sure what else I can do. Plus I'm essentially tripping, so my judgment is a lot more easygoing. I'm like, "mmmmm, I bet it'd be fun to just see what happens....."